Sunday, July 30, 2017

Kauker 1: Round 16


Last round the Kaukers were dealing with the aftermath of their cousin's near-death experience. The idea of losing a child seemed to hit Cirrus especially hard. Universe, meanwhile, managed to build up her painting skill while waiting for her boyfriend Poe to graduate, and Asteroid grew from a toddler to a child.


Huh? Definitely don't remember having anyone do that...


Where in the world did you get all those?

Poe: Oh, you know...around...

Around?

Poe: Well, I don't have a job just yet. So I just kind of...walk around and find stuff. 

You know, you might need to find a better use of your time...


Not what I meant, exactly...but I guess that could work.


Anyone surprised? Anyone at all?


You feeling ok?

Cirrus: Yeah...yeah, I'm ok. It's just weird when your twin dies before you, you know? I mean, we got here at the same time...I always kind of thought we'd leave at the same time too.


Poe: Hey, brother! Yeah, sure. I can tag along to the flea market...


Han: So, how you liking your new digs?

Poe: It's alright, I guess. Sure is nice to move into a house that already has like, stuff in it.

Han: Tell me about it...why do you think we're here? But what about Universe's brother? It must be weird like, having a kid already.

Poe: Not really. He's her mom and dad's kid. Yeah, he's there, but...I don't really have to do much with him.

Han: But what about when her mom and dad...you know...

Poe: Oh, I'm sure that won't happen for awhile yet.


Cirrus: You're getting better and better at this all the time. Pretty soon you'll be too smart for me to play against you.

Asteroid: Can you help me with my project for school? It's a model castle.

Oh, that's a new one.

Cirrus: I'm actually feeling kind of beat tonight, kiddo. But you know who might be able to help? Poe...

Asteroid: Um...ok, I guess...

Cirrus: What's wrong? I thought you and Poe got along great.

Asteroid: We do, I guess, but...I don't know, he just doesn't really get how to help with school stuff.


Poe: Huh...how'd you think they make these things, anyway...

Asteroid: Um, Poe? You're supposed to be measuring the wood...

Poe: Oh, right...man, you kids are lucky. I wish they'd given us projects like this when I was in school...all they ever gave us was boring old homework.

Asteroid: Wow, so school was pretty boring for you too, huh?

Poe: Oh, the worst...but we still found ways to liven things up, though. Like, this one time, me and my friends started a food fight...

Asteroid: You did?

Yeah, you did? When?

Poe: Eh, it happened at school. You never heard about it.


(sigh) Great influence, that Poe...


Maybe Galaxy can loan him some of his parenting books.


Galaxy: I can't believe it...my baby sister's having a baby.

Universe: I know...it's crazy, right? I hope the girls are ready for another cousin...

Galaxy: Oh, yeah. They're super excited. They're hoping for a girl this time.


Dance party?

Galaxy: Yeah, seems to keep them entertained.

Gemini: Grandma dance with us!

Arielle: Ok, but you have to go easy on your old grandma...I'm not as good a dancer as you two!


Looks like the dance party's over. It's baby time!


Poe: Doctor! She's...I mean, we're...I mean...

Universe: Honey. relax. Let's at least get in the building first.


Receptionist: Hello...no, I'm sorry, I can't connect you with him right now...no, I'm sorry, he's not in today. Unfortunately I can't...

Universe: Um...hi...

Receptionist: No, I already told you...hold on, please...(whispers) Down the hall and to the left.


Doctor: All right...just relax...


Looks like Galaxy's daughters got their wish! Welcome, baby Celestial...


Oh...and baby Eclipse...



...And baby Aurora...well then...


So...which one is that?

Universe: Um...Celestial, I think...but they all look the same!


Poe: So wait...Doc...um, so...these are all ours?

Doctor: Yes, Mr. Bernard...that's what triplets means.

Poe: So, we have to take them all home right now, or can we ease our way into this?

Sorry, Poe...there's no easing your way into this one.


Luckily we've still got grandparents around to help...so, who's everybody feeding?

Poe: Um...

Arielle: You have Aurora, I have Celestial.

Poe: Right. Hey, can you like, label them or something?

Well, not so you can see...


Looks like it's time to meet the family!

Leanna: That's your new baby cousin, Gemini...

Gemini: Hi baby...


Gotta get the Bernard side in there too, I guess.

Jamaica: Poe, they're adorable...

Luke: What do you think of your new cousins, Tempera?

Tempera: Too loud!

Well, give them a break, Tempera. They've met a lot of people today.

Poe: Yeah...everybody except one person...


Oh, right...Asteroid. Guess this isn't what you were expecting to come home to, was it?

Asteroid: Are you sure they're all girls?

Pretty sure.


Uh-oh...maybe I spoke too soon about having grandparents around.





Cirrus: Arielle...oh, no...


Goodbye, Arielle...


Poe: I'm sorry, buddy...

Asteroid: Don't call me buddy! You're not my buddy! You're just the dumb guy my sister married, and I don't want to talk to you or her or anyone!


Cirrus: Asteroid, that wasn't very nice...

Asteroid: I don't care...I'm tired of him always trying to be my dad.

Cirrus: Well he's just trying to get to know you. You know, there might be a time when he and Universe have to take care of you...

Asteroid: NO! That's not going to happen! If you're not here then I'll just go back to the planet you got me from!

Um, Cirrus? Maybe the day after his mom died isn't the best time to have this little chat.


I guess having three screaming infants doesn't really help with the grieving.

Universe: You can say that again...Celestial isn't that bad, but Eclipse and Aurora...I swear they're tag-teaming keeping us awake.



Well, luckily it's time to move on to having three screaming toddlers!


Universe: Wait, don't you usually sing...

Look, if I did that we'd be here all day...do you want these babies aged up or not?


And she definitely got the Hannon blue eyes...


Oh, great...another wild toddler...


Going to need to tame the hair, but otherwise ok...


...And I guess the odds were against us on that one, huh?


At least they're all cute.


Poe: Ok, everybody in their new big girl beds...

I appreciate the color coding with their shirts.

Poe: Yeah, now I just need to make sure that they only wear that one color from now until they graduate and I'll be all set.


Poe: Whoa, whoa...who gave you flour and chocolate?

Celestial: I get...

Poe: Wait...you guys can find stuff now?

A bit harder now that they're not confined to a cradle, isn't it?


Universe: And they lived happily ever after. The end. Ok, who's next...

Can't you just read to them at the same time?

Universe: I could, if they didn't want to hear 3 different stories...


Cirrus: All right, time to get you nice and clean...so we can go outside and you can get dirty again.

Pretty much toddlerhood in a nutshell there. What are we doing outside?

Cirrus: Family photo day...


Seriously? How did picture day wear them out?

Universe: I don't know, but I'm rolling with it.


...Uh oh...





Looks like Arielle's prediction is coming true...poor Asteroid...

Asteroid: Dad?


Asteroid: Dad? Universe, what's happening?

Universe: I think...I think Dad's gone, Asteroid.

Asteroid: Gone? But...how can he be gone? He's right here...


But not for too much longer. Goodbye, Cirrus. Sorry I never spelled your name right...


Asteroid: So...now my mom and my dad are gone?

Universe: Asteroid, it's going to be ok...

Asteroid: No it's not! It's not going to be ok! My mom and dad are both gone and I'm stuck here with you and your kids...


I'm sorry, Asteroid...

Asteroid: Hey, mysterious voice...why is my mom's rock different than my dad's?

Huh...oh, right...I had almost forgotten your mom was an alien.

Asteroid: My mom was an alien? Like me?

Well, yeah...but I don't think your dad even knew about it.

Asteroid: So...maybe she's not gone...maybe she just went back to our real planet...

Um...we're going to have to put a pin in that for now, Asteroid. It's time for me to move to the next house. I'll see you guys next round!


A Message From the Mysterious Voice: Man, I am getting really tired of these sad endings. I knew Arielle was probably going to go, but I thought Cirrus might end up with at least a few more days since he did have the pregnancy with Asteroid pause his aging. And yeah, triplets...wasn't planning on that, either. (That color-coded bedroom is totally for me, not Poe and Universe. With 3 toddler girls all with black hair, I needed a way to keep track of who was who. 

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