Last round, poor Jamaica struggled to keep up with her 4 growing children. Her husband Salmon tried to "help", but his definition involved taking all 4 of them to a late night festival where he could work on his mischief skill. By the end of the week, their oldest Luke had grown to a teenager after just barely completing his childhood aspiration. Meanwhile Jamaica also continued to progress in the entertainment career.
Huh? When did that happen? I just got here.
Leia: I've been playing on a lot of monkey bars while you were gone.
I guess so.
Poe: Han? You up?
Han: Well I am now. What?
Poe: I think the monster is back again!
And I see things are exactly where I left them around here...
How's it going, Jamaica?
Jamaica: Oh, just great...
You don't sound very convincing.
Jamaica: I thought it would be easier once the kids got older, but it's actually getting harder! And Salmon seems to be getting lazier as they get bigger, too. Didn't think that was possible.
Is he still going to...um...work?
Jamaica: Oh, yeah. But now he only goes three days out of the week, and only for about 6 hours at that. An 18 hour work week. Meanwhile, I'm not only working a full time job, but taking care of the kids and the house and cranking out as many of these jingles as I can to pay for the boys' new bedrooms.
New bedrooms?
Jamaica: Cramming all 3 of them into that one room just isn't working anymore. One wakes up, they all wake up.
Yeah, I've noticed.
Jamaica: And then they come and wake me up. Always me...
Poe: So, what do you think Dad really does at work?
Han: I don't know...how can you work at a bank, a lab, an office, and a pharmacy?
Poe: Maybe he's a traveling salesman.
Han: Why do you think Mom won't tell us? All the other kids know exactly what their moms and dads do.
Poe: Maybe he's a spy!
Han: Dad's not a spy.
Poe: How do you know?
Leia: Mom, can I go to the park tomorrow after school?
Jamaica: Yes, please...I mean, sure. Just don't stay too long. We have Han's birthday party tomorrow night.
Birthday party?
I see. At least now Jamaica will have more help.
Poe: Mom! The monster's back!
Jamaica: Poe...you're father is downstairs watching TV. I just got back from work...
Poe: He said to come get you...
Jamaica: (sigh) Fine...where's the spray?
Jamaica: Salmon, we need to talk. Now, I think I've been very supportive of your career choice up until now...
Salmon: Not this again! When are you going to lay off?
Jamaica: When you start pulling your weight around here!
Salmon: Hey! My job might be non-traditional, but it's still a job...
Jamaica: Is it? You're at work 18 hours a week. And you bring back, at most, $400. Our last set of bills was over $2,000! And I could live with that if you were at least helping around the house...
Salmon: I help!
Jamaica: How?
Salmon: I...um...I stay up and watch over things. Keep everyone safe.
Jamaica: From what? The only criminal around here is you!
She's got a point there...
Salmon: Stay out of this, mysterious voice.
Jamaica: (sigh) Look, it's Han's birthday. I don't want to be fighting while we do the cake. But please promise me that you'll start helping me out a little more.
Salmon: Ok, ok. I'll help...
Whew! Just in time.
Happy birthday, dear Han...
Oh, boy, another chef. By the time this generation hits elderhood the entire town is going to be fat and drunk.
At least he grew up nice.
Nice job, Jamaica.
Jamaica: Thanks. Please tell me the kids are in bed.
Um...I think so...
Or not. Trying a different approach with the monster?
Poe: I thought maybe he just needed a friend.
And?
Poe: I was wrong...Mom! It's back again!
Salmon: Jamaica! Jamaica!
Jamaica: What is it?
Salmon: The sink is broken again!
Jamaica: Can't you please fix it yourself? I'm in the middle writing a jingle!
Salmon: You already wrote like 4 jingles today!
Jamaica: Yes, Salmon. I have. Because it's the only way we make any money.
Salmon: What about that $2,000 I brought back from the festival?
Jamaica: That was weeks ago! Just fix the sink!
Salmon: I don't know how to fix the sink!
Jamaica: I'm sure you can figure it out. It's not going to shock you.
Salmon: Isn't it an electric sink?
Jamaica: There's no such thing as an electric sink, Salmon!
Han: Wow, Dad. You're sure...dressed up.
Salmon: Yeah, well, I have an...assignment tonight in a nice neighborhood and I need to blend in.
Han: Yeah, um...Dad? Now that I'm in high school I've been meaning to ask...
Salmon: Hey, that reminds me! I wanted to surprise you with something-kind of a late birthday present for you and Luke.
A basketball hoop?
Han: You know he just put this up to distract us, right?
Leia: Who cares? This is awesome!
Luke: All right! Slam dunk!
Where's Poe?
Leia: He's still inside. He said he didn't feel good.
Oh?
I see. A pretty bad case of the...stripey rash if I do say so myself.
Aww, and on his birthday too.
Leia: Hey, look what I can do!
Very nice, but it's getting pretty late. You might want to head inside before...
Too late. I guess you caught whatever Poe had.
Luke: Hey, I thought you weren't supposed to be outside when you were sick.
Leia: Are you kidding? I've been at home with Dad all day. I even got to eat leftover cake for breakfast!
Luke: Leia, you know cake isn't breakfast food.
Leia: What? Poe ate all the macaroni and cheese.
Luke: You should go in an lie down...ow!
What?
Luke: My ankle really hurts from when I landed after that dunk the other day. I think I sprained it.
That can happen? Sorry, I didn't know.
Luke: Eh, not your fault.
Finally, someone realizes that...
Han: Come on, you stupid...
Cooking for yourself for the first time?
Han: Cooking for everyone for the first time. Luke's still got his busted ankle from his basketball dunk, Mom's at work, and Dad's asleep...I think.
Did you ever get to finish your conversation from the other day?
Han: (sigh) No! Every time I bring it up he either remembers something he has to do, or magically gives us something to distract all of us.
Like the basketball hoop.
Han: Yup. And the kids' monkey bars. And it's not like we can really afford all of it, either. I don't know where he's getting the money from.
Have you tried asking your mom?
Han: Nah. She's stressed enough as it is. Say, do you know how to make a cake?
Can't say that I do. You in charge of the twins' birthday cake too?
Han: Yeah. I just hope I get it done in time. We're cutting it pretty close.
Well, it looks like it came out alright. Happy birthday, dear Poe...
Whew! Finally one that's not about mixology or food!
The outfit needs work but otherwise not bad. Now quick, let's do Leia's...
Oops.
(sigh) And we just missed it.
Leia: Oh, it's alright. There's still technically a cake.
Poe: Hey, check this out.
Leia: What?
Poe: It's this site I found online...it lists the dumbest crimes people have tried to commit.
Leia: So?
Poe: Look at the picture with this one.
Leia: Is...is that Dad?
Poe: I think so. The picture's kind of blurry, but it sure looks like him.
Leia: But Dad's not a criminal...is he?
Poe: Mysterious voice?
Um...I think this is a conversation you guys need to have with your dad.
Leia: I'll talk to him. I know I can get the truth out of him.
Leia: Dad, can I ask you something?
Salmon: Sure, sweetheart. Anything.
Leia: Um...this may be weird to ask but...what do you do?
Salmon: Oh, Leia, you know that...
Leia: Well actually, no, we don't. Mom's given us about 10 different answers, and you've never even mentioned it.
Salmon: Oh, well, I kind of work all over. Like, last night, I was at this museum...which reminds me, I have something for you...
Luke: Let me guess...you tried to ask Dad about his job?
Leia: I did want to take up painting. I guess I should be glad he noticed.
Luke: At least you can't sprain your ankle with this distraction.
Leia: True. Luke, you don't think Dad could really be a criminal, do you?
Luke: I don't know...I mean, I don't want to believe it, but...
Leia: So, then...everybody has been lying to us. For our whole lives.
Well at least you two know that you're siblings. You've got that going for you.
Luke: Huh?
Leia: What does that have to do with any of this?
Luke: And how would we not know if we were siblings?
(sigh) Never mind. I have to head to the next house anyway. I'll see you guys next round.
A Message From the Mysterious Voice: They're all teens! Just as I thought, Poe was the only one who didn't get his childhood aspiration, though it wasn't for lack of trying. For some reason, my game doesn't register when kids make friends-Poe had made friends with at least 2 kids who grew to teens, which should have fulfilled the "make friends with 2 adults" requirement, but it didn't. I don't know if this is a glitch, or if they have to be "good friends", or if teens don't count, or what. Anyway, Salmon isn't quite as bad of a father in the game as I've been making him out to be-just a bit on the passive side. Jamaica really does do most of the work around this house, though. It's a good thing playing the piano is a fun activity.
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