Howard 1: Round 14

Last round, Disgust and Herbert Howard welcomed a second daughter, Hope, to their family. This somewhat worried grandparents Joy and Cason, who were concerned about Herbert's unusual career choice of social media. Herbert, however, was able to convince Disgust that the benefits of staying home with Hope and their older daughter, Sadness, outweighed the drawbacks. By the end of the week, he had settled on running a parenting blog. Disgust, meanwhile, continued to advance in the culinary career.

Hi there, Cason!

Cason: Oh, hello.

What are you making?

Cason: Chicken stir-fry. I just found a new recipe.

Isn't that a bit...out there for Hope?

Cason: Oh, no. Hope will eat anything. We've been feeding her whatever I make since she grew out of her bassinet.

Joy: And they lived happily ever after. The End.

Hope: Again!

Joy: No, no. You need to take your nap. You're going out with Daddy and Sadness later.

Sadness: Where are we going, Dad?

Wait...let me guess...

Uh-huh...

Herbert: Look, if I'm going to blog about being a parent, I need something to write about. So I have to take them places.

So I take it you're bringing both the girls along.

Herbert: Of course!

Herbert: Now just hold still, sweetie. I want to take your picture for the blog...

Herbert: Ok...and...upload! 

Sadness: Can I please go play now?

Herbert: Yes, you can go play.

Sadness: Want to shoot baskets with me?

Herbert: Ok, but just for a little while. I have to keep an eye on your sister...actually, come to think of it...Hope, come here, sweetie. I want to get a picture of you and your sister together.

Sadness: Is this good, Dad?

Herbert: Perfect, honey. Got it! 

Sadness: Can we please go play now?

Herbert: Yes, yes. You know, one day you'll be glad I took all these.

And I see that Hope has discovered the family affinity for dessert.

Sadness: Dad made us ice cream for posing for so many pictures.

Hope: Ice cream's yummy!

So how did the blog post go over?

Herbert: Oh, great. I've gotten a ton of new followers. They absolutely love the pictures of the girls!

Well, that's good. I still don't understand how that translates into a bigger paycheck, though.

Herbert: You sound just like Disgust. Besides, we're doing fine with money.

Yes, because of Disgust's parents. What are you going to do when they're gone? They're not getting any younger.

Herbert: Oh, that won't be for awhile. You worry too much.

Joy: So, what did you two do with your father in the city?

Sadness: Well, first we took pictures by the buildings. Then we took pictures by the playground. Then we took pictures by all the old junk people were selling. And then finally Dad let me play basketball while he took more pictures of Hope. Why does Dad take so many pictures of us?

Joy: I used to wonder the same thing. My mom used to take tons of pictures of me too, you know.

Sadness: Yeah, I know. They're everywhere, Grandma.

Joy: It's just because he knows you won't be a little girl forever. Plus, taking pictures can be fun. Once you get a bit older we can get you a camera of your own-then you can take tons of pictures of your Dad. How about that?

Sadness: That would be funny!

Looks like Disgust had a good day at work!

Nice job!

Disgust: Thanks!

So I take it you're ready to take over as family chef?

Disgust: Well, I don't like to think about it like that. My dad will always be the family chef to me. But I am getting pretty good, if I do say so myself. I'm not quite as good of a baker, though.

Trust me, less dessert around here won't be a bad thing.

Cason: So, what does everyone want for dinner?

Hope: Ice cream!

Cason: Ice cream?

Herbert: I gave her her first bowl the other day-now it's all she wants to eat.

And this makes her different from the rest of you...how? You people have been eating ice cream and cookies for every meal for weeks.

Got the day off today?

Disgust: Yes, finally. I love what I do but I feel like I barely see the girls-especially compared to Herbert. Do you know that one of the people that follow his blog commented about what a great single dad he is?

Really?

Disgust: Yes, really! I mean, I know I'm not around the house as much but it's not like I don't exist! The least he could do is throw my name in there somewhere!

Hey, another adult aspiration completed!

Nice job!

Cason: Thanks, but...I don't feel so great...

Oh, no...

I guess that last promotion came just in time.

Bye, Cason....

Sadness: Grandma, is Grandpa really gone forever?

Joy: I'm afraid so, honey. But don't worry, you've still got me and your mom and dad...

Aw, man, even Hope is crying.

Hope: I want Grandpa!

Hardly seems like a good time for a birthday party...

How's she been holding up?

Herbert: Oh, about the same as all of us. It seems to be a bit easier to distract her, though.

She seems happy enough right now.

Herbert: Yeah, like I said, it's pretty easy to distract her. I just wish it was as easy for the rest of us.

Joy: I just can't believe he's really gone. It doesn't seem real.

Joy: I just don't know what to do...I always knew that he would probably go before me. But now that it's happened...

Disgust: I know, Mom. I know.

Joy: I just feel awful for Sadness. It's her birthday-we should all be happy.

Disgust: Don't feel bad, Mom. She invited a friend over-it'll be fine. Plus, it's not like she doesn't know what happened.

Oh, hey Riley. Came by for the birthday?

Riley: Yeah! I'm so glad you're finally going to be in high school with me, Sadness!

Sadness: Me too!

Happy birthday, dear Sadness...

Huh, that's a new one. Although the loner trait might make that difficult.

And I think a new outfit is in order.

Riley: I'm really sorry about your grandpa.

Sadness: (sigh) It's ok, I guess. I mean, it was his time. It happens to everyone eventually, right?

Riley: So...when did you guys get a photo studio in your basement?

Sadness: My dad just pulled it out of storage. He's trying to make a career out of blogging about me and my sister, so he thought if he could take better pictures of us it would help.

Riley: Weird.

Sadness: Yeah, super weird. I'm just hoping he tones it down with the camera now that I'm older.

Riley: Well, your sister's still little and cute. Maybe he'll just focus on her.

Sadness: I hope so. I don't really like him telling a bunch of strangers about us.

Hope: Goodnight, Daddy...

Herbert: Goodnight, honey. Want me to read you a story?

Hope: No! Want Grandpa!

Herbert: Honey, we talked about this. Grandpa's not here anymore. He can't read you a story.

Hope: Not ever?

Herbert: No, not ever....but hey, I've got an idea. How about I get you some ice cream? Just don't tell Mommy, ok?

Hope: Ok...

And I see we're still continuing the family tradition of processing grief through sugar highs.

You ok?

Sadness: Yeah...I was just eating breakfast and...this isn't how Grandpa used to make it, you know?

It also appears to be actual breakfast food.

Sadness: Yeah, we finally ran out of all the dessert he made. I think that's when it really hit that he's gone.

(sigh) How is this a job? You guys don't even have cats!

Herbert: Yeah, that part was weird to me too. What is a cat?

Look, if one shows up, I'll tell you then.

At least we still have Joy's income to round things out.

And we get at least one more birthday this week.

Joy: So, Herbert, I've been meaning to talk to you about this...social media thing.

Herbert: Joy, I told you...

Joy: No, no, not that. I'm just wondering if it's really the best thing for the girls to be posting about everything they do.

Herbert: What?

Joy: Did I ever tell you about my mother, Herbert?

Herbert: I don't believe so...which one is she?

Joy: She's that one...third picture from the right. She spent my entire childhood taking pictures of my and my cousin. I used to think it was a fun game. I got to try on all my outfits and she would have me pose all different ways. And she hung the pictures everywhere.

Herbert: Yeah, I've noticed that part. 

Joy: But that was just in our basement, dear. It wasn't online for a bunch of strangers. You have to start thinking about the girls' privacy. Besides, what are you going to write about once they're both grown up?

Herbert: Huh, you know, I hadn't thought about that. But you know, that's a long way off, Joy. Hope's not even in school yet.

Joy: Trust me, Herbert. It'll go by quicker than you think.

You on babysitting duty today?

Sadness: Yeah. Dad's working on a blog post and he doesn't want Hope messing with the computer. And Grandma hasn't been feeling so great...

Uh-oh... 

Here we go again...

Tthis is going to be one of those rounds, isn't it?

Bye, Joy...

Disgust: I can't believe they're both gone...

Sadness: I know...

Disgust: I just wish I could have had a little bit more time, you know? For them to see Hope start school...or to see you graduate...

Huh? Oh, right...it was Herbert's birthday.

Oops...sorry, Herbert.

Herbert: Hey, it's ok. I get it. I wouldn't have felt right celebrating it right now anyway.

This one we can't skip, though.

Herbert: Oh, no. Of course not.

Herbert: Stupid oven...

Having some trouble baking the birthday cake?

Herbert: Disgust will be at work until late. I've never had to do much of the cooking around here.

Looks like it came out alright. Happy Birthday, dear Hope...

Hey, at least they've already got the monkey bars.

Not bad...

Not wasting any time, I see. Aren't you tired?

Hope: No! I took a long nap before my party!

Hope: Dad?

Herbert: Yes, honey?

Hope: Did you have to put up all the pictures from my birthday on your blog?

Herbert: Well, of course. They 

Hope: But Dad, why do you have to tell a bunch of strangers about everything we do?

Herbert: Well, because that's my job...does it really bother you?

Hope: Well, I don't mind it for some things. But I don't want everyone to know everything!

Maybe Joy was right, huh Herbert?

And I see that Hope and Erica are still friends! You know, your grandmothers were best friends too.

Hope: They were?

Yup!

Erica: I wondered why there were pictures of my grandma in your house.

Well, I've got to be on my way now. I'll see all of you guys next round!

A Message From the Mysterious Voice: Well, looks like Round 14 is going to have a lot of old age deaths. I was really sad to see Joy go; I'd grown really attached to her. I was also kind of sorry to see Hope age up-she was an adorable toddler. I'm glad that Sadness and Riley are finally both teens, though. And these guys are one of the few families not related to every other house in town, so Sadness should have her pick of the boys since nobody's her cousin.